Worry

As a kid, I was always called a "worry-wort" because I was always worried about what was happening or what could happen to me, the people in my life, or during any situation ever. The adults in my life thought it was cute, but as the years went by it went from me being a 'cute' worry-wart to developing full-blown crippling anxiety. I never learned true coping skills or positive thought processes, because the adults in my life failed to realize what was developing in front of their eyes. These overwhelming thoughts have led to anxiety-filled days and nights of laying in bed with my chest tight, heart racing, and thoughts running even faster. My anxiety would convince me that if I was by myself at home, especially at night, that something bad was going to happen and no one would be there to help me. That my heart was going to stop beating and I would stop breathing. These thoughts would fill my head and lead to my heart beating fast, furthering my belief that I was going to somehow die alone. Anxiety has made me feel like the most alone person in the world. Anxiety has convinced me that no one will understand and therefore I will be alone. Anxiety is not being a little nervous to make social conversation with people or the little butterfly feeling you get before a presentation. Anxiety is an overwhelming sensation that controls your entire life by convincing you, emotionally and physically, that everything is wrong, even if everything is right. It is so physically and mentally draining that it leads to you lying in bed for hours, feeling numb and guilty for not doing your 'daily life' stuff. Anxiety sucking sucks.