I wake up in a messy room to my 4th alarm, maybe I’ll grab something quick for breakfast, depending on how I feel. I am careful to smile when I am supposed to despite the empty pit I feel in my body. If it was not for work and school, I would probably never get out of bed. I attend my classes, hardly retaining any of the information. I study for exams as much as I can without losing focus or getting frustrated because I can’t remember anything. I get jealous watching my friends do so well so much easier without the obstacle I face. I have to remind myself to drink some water and try to eat something during the day. When I get home I am so exhausted that I fall asleep for much longer than I should and feel guilty when I wake up for all of the time I wasted. I’ll take a shower to try and feel more put together but when I get out, I am tired again. After a day of ignoring my friends because responding to a text feels like too much, being overwhelmed by a small amount of tasks, smiling when I am supposed to and sleeping almost the entire day away, I decide that there is no point in trying for the last couple hours of the day and go to bed. Just to do it all again tomorrow. I tell myself tomorrow will be different. It will be better. I hold on to that hope, only to let it go as soon as my first of many alarms go off.
- studentsofgvsu